I have to add a few words about support here:
The MacMillan nurses have been absolutely stupendous in propping me up. Both teams at the Singleton and in Carmarthen have been exceptional in their care.
My brilliant daughter, Cat, has Skyped me from Berlin and sent me encouraging messages throughout. When I couldn’t face anybody she told me, haggard, hair in disarray and with a nasogastric tube snaking down my nose and taped to my spotty face, that I was beautiful.
My stepdaughters messaged me and the grandchildren made me laugh with their antics
My mother in law hugged me whenever we visited. This is quite amazing. She doesn’t hug anybody except maybe the great grand children who hurl themselves at her.
My darling darling husband, Stan, has ferried me all the way to Swansea for all my appointments and every day for radio . Some days when the wait has been long or occasionally when there has been a machine breakdown or when traffic was bad we have been away all day. He never complained.
He fed me, medicated me, propped me up and held me when I hurt, cried and wanted to give up frightened and bleeding.
His life has been turned upside down too. He is a strong and proud man and although his two daughters have undoubtedly been there for him, he has had little or no professional support. Why is that? Why isn’t anything offered for the carers? There is a Maggie’s centre at The Singleton but we never availed ourselves of any creature comforts there. It’s so far from home. Perhaps we should have explored what the GP and community team might have offered but we never did.
When I ask him how he’s felt through all this he simply says you have to accept the things in life you can’t change and just get on with it.