First Anniversary

One year, one whole year has passed since I scrambled off the linear accelerator treatment table at the Singleton for the last time. I have had a year of incredible ups and downs, of pain and joy, of delight and horror but I’m still here and more or less in one piece. I am not cured but I am in remission. I am in this curious suspended world, a five year limbo at the end of which the hazard rate of my diseased state returns to that of the general population………waiting for cure to be pronounced. It’s a strange place to be. I long for the years to pass yet I don’t. I’m 69. in the four years I need yet to have that final healing I will be 73. I still wake in the mornings and often still can’t believe this has happened to me. I still fiddle with my neck palpating for that swollen lymph node; still look down my throat with a torch. I’m still mourning what was instead of embracing what is. I’m still a work in progress.

Still, a year on I’m functioning fairly normally, Saliva is fine if I chew gum. I don’t have to carry water around with me all the time and I can eat most things. I still can’t whistle!

I have survived a Christmas to wear a new jumper 🙂

And to my next birthday after spending the last in hospital

And Stan and I celebrated Bracken’s seventh birthday

Spring is round the corner and I have been sowing sweet peas and planning the veggie plot. The bees have been out in the sunshine and I am full of hope for their survival. The hives sit in the sunshine and the bees hum their winter tune waiting for warmer weather.

Published by Dani Akrigg

I'm 68 in 2019. Retired Veterinary Surgeon

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